Each day I continue to wake with a sheer appreciation for every moment of this life. The past month has brought some ups and downs and a scare or two so I am happy that I can share how great life is going TODAY. That is the key word, TODAY, this one day here right in front of me- not yesterday, not tomorrow, just this one day with my eyes open. The ability to live in the moment and not worry about the past or the future is a goal which I will ever be working to achieve. At the onset of this year I made a commitment to myself and my team at work to “Be Here Now”, a concept which can often be quite difficult. When we have a million things happening in life and pressures coming from many directions we can often let our mind wander and not be present. I have mentioned this concept before and will surely write about it again as I imagine I may never reach perfection here.
In the past weeks since I last wrote I have had a number of doctors appointments and tests which put me back on pins and needles, worrying about the “what ifs” and hoping all of the bad news about my health was in the past. I have had some pain and possible side effects which we are still trying figure out and confirm they are just that- side effects. The good news so far is that the ultrasounds and exams have come back negative for tumors, another all clear! There were a few days where I had a lot of worry and was back to a place of fear for the unknown. This time around the waiting period for results was more difficult since I knew what I never once thought was possible was actually a possibility, a youngish/healthy person could have something seriously wrong. My bubble has been burst and the years of thinking I was invincible is over. Knowing the possible isn’t always all it is cracked up to be, I do believe I prefer naivety for some parts of life. Thankfully I continue to have an incredible team of doctors who are monitoring me and working to ensure we stay in the safe zone, especially as I continue to finish my treatment. These moments of fear and worry were real and I now embrace them as a natural part of our everyday lives.
Meanwhile in the midst of the storm where one worries, we can still find some peace and joy. I believe, and push my friends to join me, in thinking that we no longer have to wait for order in our life for things to happen. This is a newer concept for me and I truly know it is helping me to live a greater life with boundless joy, far outweighing the worry and angst that can come at times. As I try to live for TODAY, I have been enjoying life in so many ways. Days when I am at work I put all of my energy and effort into delivering my best self and all energy to my work and then the days I am out of the office I am trying to focus more freely on what I want to do for me. If I want to “Be Here Now” for my own life then I must continue to check in to whatever it is that is brought to me that day. The fact is I can’t wait to be perfectly healthy to get back to having fun and adventure or I can’t wait for work to be less busy to take a day off and you certainly can’t wait for all of your ducks to line up in a perfect row for the next chapter of your life to start. All we can do is live in this one moment we are in, right here, right now, casting all other worries aside. Maybe your moment is to worry, be scared, sad, or bursting with joy; no matter what your moment brings just embrace it and know that a next one is soon to come.